A few weeks ago, God spoke to my heart, “You are more comfortable in your skin than you’ve ever been.” I smiled as I heard those words, realizing that I am. Also, amazed and grateful that God had transformed my heart in many areas. The Heavenly Father has a way of working in you, bringing you to where He wills you to be. Inwardly, I had a poor self-image. I didn’t realize how bad it was until God began to uncover the areas of insecurities in my heart over a period of years.
Being comfortable in my skin… does that mean I like the fact that I’m currently overweight? No. It means I have come to accept myself, the person that God created. Am I still working on losing weight? Yes. What I’ve come to understand is that self-acceptance is crucial. Accepting who God has made you be, is, in fact, praise unto God for what He has done. It’s an act of worship and thanksgiving. The acceptance of myself came through my relationship with Jesus Christ and my time of renewing my mind in His word. I have begun to see who I am through God’s word and my time with Him – I’m His masterpiece. This has created my Godfidence.
What is Godfidence? The Urban Dictionary defines it as knowing God’s in control. Yes, I like that definition. God is in control of my life because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in February 1989. God doesn’t just take over your heart without your surrender.
I was unaware that the negative words spoken to me, feelings of loneliness, disappointments, feeling unloved, unaccepted, and feeling like an outcast, had lodged themselves deep into my soul. Proverbs 4:23 reads, Guard your heart more than anything else because the source of your life flows from it. In most cases, when the Bible speaks of the heart, it’s referring to your soul. Housed within your soul are your mind, will, emotions, and conscience.
During my teenage years, I didn’t know anything about guarding my heart. Those things I experienced wedged themselves deep into my soul and created insecurities and a stronghold (a house of thoughts) in my mind for the enemy of my soul to gain a foothold (Luke 4:27).
Guard your heart more than anything else because the source of your life flows from it.
For a long time, I was not aware they were there, and the fruits of those insecurities were anger, bitterness, and hardness. I literally felt numb and struggled with self-hatred and suicidal thoughts constantly. I felt like I didn’t care about anyone. However, I came to realize those feelings were to keep anyone from getting too close – emotionally. So, I only associated with people on a surface level. I felt safe that way.
However, God loved me too much to leave me that way. At the age of 25, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. It was really at the age of 14, but I didn’t have enough teaching about Christ to grow in him. I rededicated my life at 25 and began to grow deeper in my relationship with Him through the years. Over time He began to change my life for the better.
This Godfidence I’m now walking in is not a state of arrogance. It is a confidence in God, trusting in His power, reliability, and ability, knowing as I continue to grow in my relationship with Him through Jesus Christ, He is turning my life around so I can live life in abundance, to the full, until it overflows with his precious promises and fruits.
If you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, say this simple prayer. Heavenly Father, I acknowledge that I’m a sinner and need a Savior. I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord, and I believe in my heart that God has raised Jesus from the dead, according to Romans 10:9. Now Father, fill me with your Holy Spirit to empower me to live for you. Welcome to the family of God!!! Now find a local body (church) that preaches and teaches the Word of God and get plugged in so that you can grow in your relationship with God. It’s not about religion, but a personal relationship with your Heavenly Father through Christ Jesus.
Originally written on October 13, 2017.
